Katniss Everdeen, you are not a failure
by Katniss4eva
Summary: When a man from Katniss' past returns, can he ever convince her she isn't a failure? And will she tell him the truth about the nightlock? And there's something else she's got to hide too. Something that's going to take her entire family on a roller-coaster of a time - except it might not be that fun. Post-Mockingjay, Pre-Epilogue
1. Hey, Kat

"Katniss Everdeen, you are not a failure."

I stomp back home. Damn you, Haymitch! Peeta is waiting for me and I sense another presence in the house. "Hey there, grumpy pants," he laughs, kissing me on the cheek. I smile, for the first time in ages, really. Peeta guides me into our living room and I am staring into the eyes of Gale. The grey eyes, olive skin and black hair. It has to be him. But a single hello tells me differently. "Hey, Kat." I run into his arms, tears blurring my view of my father. How happy I am to see him. Yet I don't want him to see me. I don't want him to see the failure his daughter has become. How I let Prim die. Didn't even help her. Just sat there in shock and wept about it later. I don't even hunt much anymore - if I do, I don't shoot anything - and I sit by the fire, depressed and almost eating nightlock. It's Peeta's fault I'm still alive. The kisses and the hugs are the ones that keep me sane, the ones that stop me dying the way Foxface did, or the way Prim did - or maybe Gale is a liar and my sister is still alive, in his care; in District Two. But I refuse to believe it. Refuse to get my hopes up over something that's odds are _not _in my favour.

I pull away from my father's hug and stare deep into his eyes. My thumbnails pierce my palms as I curl my hands into fists. I feel a tear trickle down my cheek and I know there will be more coming. He wipes away the tear and releases my fists softly, kissing the place where my nails have caused small dents in my skin and holding my hands in a gentle, loving, paternal form, of which I have missed for so long. I pull my way out of his grasp and head out the door. Fast. My immediate thought is to head out into the woods, but it has too many memories of Gale and it's probably the first place my father will come looking for me, so I head to our old house in the Seam instead. I'm barely sitting on the front step when the tears begin to fall. A figure, most likely Peeta's, looms over me. "Go away," I whisper in my raspy voice, full of sobs.

"Hey babes," it's my father, "what's up?"

"I'm a failure," I choke out, "I didn't save her. I don't even hunt anymore. Peeta's your child, not me. If it weren't for him, I'd be dead by now. Nightlock might've overtook me by now."

"Now, you listen to me," my father says, angrier than I have ever seen him in my entire life, "Katniss Everdeen, you are _not _a failure. You are my little girl and I love you."

"I love you too."


	2. You Were There

"Come on, then," my father says warmly, untying my braid and letting it loose. I feel free. Then I remember. We have to pass through the old mines. It may be a museum now, but on the outside...it's exactly the same. I prop my head on one of his shoulders as he stares dreamily, fists clenched. "It's okay," I say quietly, "Let's go home. I want to show you some of my baking attempts."

"I don't have to try them, do I?" my father asks with a laugh, pretending to vomit. I give him a Haymitch-like smirk and unlock the door. Peeta must have gone to work. He always goes when I run off. I pass my father a cheese bun from the baker's tin (which is in reality a cookie tin with the words _surprise, surprise! _written on in marker pen) and ask in curiosity, "So what happened that day?" This question clearly startles him, but he replies: "Mason, the boss of the mines, he said I could take the day off. Go to Thirteen. All I had to do was sign myself in and then go to the hovercraft. Gale's father was meant to come too, but he backed out at the last minute. Nobody would have dreamt there'd be an explosion down there, and, since I'd signed in I was counted as dead."

My father pauses for a minute, as if remembering the rest. "Coin said I might as well stay there, and that's what I did. Watch the reaping and the Games each year. Pray it wasn't you. Until it was Prim. And then it _was_ you. It took ages for Coin to say yes, I could sponsor you. Hours and hours of yelling, Kat. Days and days. She finally let it go when you got up in that tree. I cried, honestly cried, when I saw you with that cream."

Now that's something different. My father. Crying. "Sponsored you all the way through those Games. After Cato's death, I couldn't bear to watch you with the nightlock. Left the room. I went down to the bottom floor and wept. It was the worst thing in my entire life, and don't you believe any different. I had lost your mother, you and little Prim all at once, and then I had found you. Now I had another chance of losing you once again. Didn't know you were alive until Caesar's interview. Everyone believed you that day - everyone but me. I know a liar when I see one. Then the Quell came. Cried again. Found you one moment; lost you the next. Now Coin turned on me. She told me that if I sent you anything, even a measly insect, I would be dead. Depressed. That's what you get if you can't help your daughter. But I found out why."

My father smiles, "Go take a bath, yeah? I'll tell you the rest tomorrow."

"But why not today?" I pout, wiping a silver spoon clean and placing it inside a drawer, "Lem'me guess, you were there with me during the rebellion and...and-" A part of me breaks down and I'm left crying in his arms, "when the bombs went off,"

"Don't cry so," my father says, wiping away my crystal teardrops with his thumb and giving me a quiet kiss on my cheek, "Go up to bed and I'll see you in a minute, yeah Kat? Love you."


	3. No Way of Getting Out

"Katniss Everdeen, to ward 12 please," Twelve. Lovely. Peeta and I walk to the ward, hand in hand. I smile nervously at him. "You'll be fine, relax. It's not as if we have to dress up as pigs, is it?" I laugh, "Oh, but that's a good thing. Your dream is to become a pig - which you'll be by baking those cakes and then eating them." We enter the ward and a nurse greets us. She seems familiar. Vaguely. Peeta and I sit down on a sofa. "What seems to be the problem?" The nurse asks. The nametag on her chest flashes _Doctor Isaacs_. I am too nervous to speak, so Peeta answers for me. "She's been getting headaches, and puking every morning around five-ish." Dr. Isaacs ponders for a moment. "I'll need you to go behind the curtain and pee into this cup for me, Katniss, if you would, please. I think you may be pregnant."

My face goes white. I can tell just by the way Peeta looks at me. I can't be pregnant. I can't. I'm nineteen. Nineteen is simply not a good age to be pregnant. Maybe a good age to have a boyfriend, but _pregnancy_? I pee into the cup as the nurse said and pass the test back. _Please don't be pregnant, _I think, crossing my fingers. And toes.

Dr. Isaacs comes back a few minutes later. "Congratulations! You're pregnant with twin boys!"

Oh, God. God, no. Help me. Peeta doesn't look happy - or cross, for that matter. I just hope my father is okay with it. "Two months along," "Healthy little lads," Whatever. I am well and truly afraid. Afraid for the future of two little boys and for Peeta and I.

When we get back home, I cry. I cry because I can. Everyone waited for me to fall apart. And I am falling apart because I have no clue what the hell I am supposed to do. A nineteen year old girl. Pregnant. With twins. I grab the telephone from on the wall and dial my mother. "We...we had a test." I say shyly, "and...and it came up positive... twins. Mother, I... Never mind." I slam the phone down. I don't need her. I can do this just fine without her. I think. My father comes into the room. Uh oh. "Hey Kat," he says. I sense something wrong and it's easy to spot. He _knows_. "Dads know absolutely everything," he says with a chuckle, "What you gonna call them?" I shrug. Anthony and Ian or something? Because I don't have a clue. I'm scared. I hate this. Maybe Prim would know what to do. I need Mother.

**AN: I am quitting this story; sorry. There's nothing to do with it and it was a pretty rubbish idea anyway. If you want to carry it on, please do so - I'd love to see it!**


	4. I Need You

"Katniss Everdeen, to ward 12 please," Twelve. Lovely. Peeta and I walk to the ward, hand in hand. I smile nervously at him. "You'll be fine, relax. It's not as if we have to dress up as pigs, is it?" I laugh, "Oh, but that's a good thing. Your dream is to become a pig - which you'll be by baking those cakes and then eating them." We enter the ward and a nurse greets us. She seems familiar. Vaguely. Peeta and I sit down on a sofa. "What seems to be the problem?" The nurse asks. The nametag on her chest flashes _Doctor Isaacs_. I am too nervous to speak, so Peeta answers for me. "She's been getting headaches, and puking every morning around five-ish." Dr. Isaacs ponders for a moment. "I'll need you to go behind the curtain and pee into this cup for me, Katniss, if you would, please. I think you may be pregnant."

My face goes white. I can tell just by the way Peeta looks at me. I can't be pregnant. I can't. I'm nineteen. Nineteen is simply not a good age to be pregnant. Maybe a good age to have a boyfriend, but _pregnancy_? I pee into the cup as the nurse said and pass the test back. _Please don't be pregnant, _I think, crossing my fingers. And toes.

Dr. Isaacs comes back a few minutes later. "Congratulations! You're pregnant with twin boys!"

Oh, God. God, no. Help me. Peeta doesn't look happy - or cross, for that matter. I just hope my father is okay with it. "Two months along," "Healthy little lads," Whatever. I am well and truly afraid. Afraid for the future of two little boys and for Peeta and I.

When we get back home, I cry. I cry because I can. Everyone waited for me to fall apart. And I am falling apart because I have no clue what the hell I am supposed to do. A nineteen year old girl. Pregnant. With twins. I grab the telephone from on the wall and dial my mother. "We...we had a test." I say shyly, "and...and it came up positive... twins. Mother, I... Never mind." I slam the phone down. I don't need her. I can do this just fine without her. I think. My father comes into the room. Uh oh. "Hey Kat," he says. I sense something wrong and it's easy to spot. He _knows_. "Dads know absolutely everything," he says with a chuckle, "What you gonna call them?" I shrug. Anthony and Ian or something? Because I don't have a clue. I'm scared. I hate this. Maybe Prim would know what to do. I need Mother.


End file.
